“Future You” isn't coming to save you.

For the last year, I kept telling myself I was going to repaint my bathroom.

Winter Me didn’t want to deal with it. Spring Me wanted to enjoy the nice weather.
Summer Me was too hot. Now? Fall Me has cozy lattes, Halloween and Thanksgiving to plan.

A few weeks ago, I was curled up watching “She’s The Man” when it hit me, I finally realized that I was never going to repaint my bathroom.

Not because I lacked time. Because I simply didn’t want to do it.

But admitting that felt like failure. So instead, I spent twelve months pretending I was the kind of women who was going to have a Sherwin-Williams sage green bathroom someday.

Deferring the decision let me keep the identity without doing the work. And I see this same pattern with women who are struggling with PCOS.

Why we actually defer things

We say we’re busy, tired, or “waiting for the right plan.”

But the truth?

We push things off so we don’t have to admit we’re not doing them.

When I say, “I’m going to paint my bathroom this weekend” and then I don’t, I have two choices:

Do it next weekend or admit I’m not going to. That’s uncomfortable. That requires a decision.

But when I say “I’ll handle it this Winter,” I don’t have to decide anything. I get to imagine Future Me who’s going to have a painted bathroom without ever doing it or facing what it means if I don’t.

The deferral is the decision. I just didn’t want to own it.

This shows up everywhere

I know a woman who’s been saying she’s going to “get serious” about her PCOS for over a year.

She’s read every book, follows all the hormone coaches on Instagram, saves the meal prep Reels, and can explain the difference between insulin resistance and inflammation like a pro.

But she hasn’t changed a single thing in her daily routine.

Last month, we were on a call together. I watched her open her grocery list, scroll past “Greek yogurt,” “protein powder,” and “chia seeds,” sigh… and close it. “I’ll start tomorrow,” she said. Three days later? Same coffee-for-breakfast, stress-on-repeat cycle.

She’s not waiting for more information. She’s waiting to become someone who effortlessly prioritizes her health — someone who lifts weights, sleeps eight hours, meal preps, and glows from within.

But that version of her doesn’t exist yet. So she keeps deferring.

Every month she waits to start is another month of fatigue, breakouts, cravings, and mood swings she could be reversing. That’s not just lost time — that’s a loss of energy, confidence, and self-trust.

And it’s not just with food. I see the same pattern with workouts, supplement routines, scheduling lab tests, and setting boundaries with stress. We say “I’ll start next month” because it’s easier than admitting how uncomfortable change really is.

The compounding cost of waiting

But there’s a bigger lesson that I didn't understand for twelve months:

When you defer something, you're not just postponing it. You're actively making it worse.

And Future You? She’s not more free or motivated. She’s usually more tired, with more to untangle.

That small “I’ll start eating more protein next week” turns into six months of blood sugar crashes, fatigue, and late-night cravings.

That “I’ll book my labs soon” becomes a year of guessing instead of actually knowing what’s going on with your hormones.

And the big kicker is that Future You won’t have more capacity to deal with it. Future You will almost surely have less.

If you have the capacity to do something hard and uncertain right now, that’s probably the best capacity you’re going to have. The longer you’ve been doing something the comfortable way, the harder it is to change. My friend has been struggling with PCOS for five years. Every month she doesn’t make a change makes changing feel more impossible.

What happened when I stopped pretending

Last week, I finally admitted I was never going to paint my bathroom.

So I hired someone to do it. They came over that day, spent three hours, and charged me $300.

And something clicked when I did that. If I wasn’t going to paint my bathroom, what else was I never going to do? What else was I pretending about?

I admitted I wasn’t going to brush up on my French. I’ve been saying “this year” for five years, so I deleted Duolingo from my phone. It felt like relief.

I admitted I wasn’t going to start waking up at 5 a.m. to work out. I like slow mornings. I like lifting around 8 a.m., after my protein breakfast and a little stretching.

The $300 I spent on the bathroom didn’t just buy me a painted space. It bought me permission to stop lying to myself about who I actually am and what I actually want.

The 5-Day Decision Rule

Here’s what I do now when I catch myself saying “I’ll start soon.”

Step 1: List what you’ve been deferring for 3+ months
Write down everything you’ve been saying you’ll do soon but haven’t actually scheduled.
Not the stuff that’s already in motion — I mean the quiet promises you keep repeating to yourself.

Step 2: Ask yourself the uncomfortable question

For each task, ask: "If I admit I'm never going to do this, what does that say about me that I don't want to face?"

Write down the answer. That's the real reason you're deferring it.

Step 3: Decide in the next 5 days

You have two choices:

A) Schedule it in the next 5 days

If you actually want to do it, find time in your calendar in the next 5 days. Treat it like a meeting with your future self — one you can’t reschedule.

B) Admit you're not going to do it

Say it out loud: "I'm not going to do [thing]." Then either find a simpler version or let it go completely.

The "I'll do it later" option is off the table because later never comes.

The bottom line

My bathroom is painted now.

But the real win wasn’t the bathroom. It was finally admitting that Winter Me, Spring Me, Summer Me, and Fall Me aren’t different people. They’re all just me, right now, deciding what’s actually worth doing.

Stop treating Future You like they have unlimited capacity to deal with everything Present You doesn’t want to handle. Either do the thing now, find a different way to get it down, or admit you’re not going to do it and let it go.

So here’s your nudge: What’s the one PCOS thing you’ve been deferring for 3+ months?

Reply to this email and tell me. I read every response. And if enough people share similar struggles, I might write about it in a future newsletter.

(Sometimes the hardest part is just saying it out loud to someone else.)

That’s all for now.

See you next Saturday,
—Arzina

P.S. The 5-Day Decision Rule works for everything: that doctor convo, that gym intro session, that supplement you keep researching, that bedtime you slide past. Schedule it—or consciously choose a simpler alternative. Future You isn’t coming to save you; Present You is perfectly capable.

^{Why PCOS Queens? I want to save you the energy and time in researching and instead give you the shortcut to managing PCOS. I want to help you avoid feeling self-conscious and thinking you have to accept how things are. I want to help you overcome the worst of your symptoms, feel empowered and discover your inner strength. I want to hand you the keys to take back control of your life.}

*Disclaimer: Every women is unique, and this information is provided for educational purposes only. I share summarized research data and personal experience, but this should not be considered medical advice. Always consult your healthcare provider for guidance on your specific health needs.