DEEP DIVE
Picture this.
It’s late. You’re at the sink. Skincare. Toothbrush. The “I’ll be asleep in 5 minutes” lie.
Then your brain starts doom-scrolling… offline.
The breakout.
A chin hair that appeared like it pays rent.
Jeans that feel tighter.
The cycle that’s doing freestyle again.
And suddenly it’s not “a symptom.”
It’s a story
“See? I’m failing.”
That’s negativity bias, your brain’s built-in “threat scanner.”
And with PCOS, it can crank up fast.
You remember the one symptom flare (and forget the weeks you were doing better).
You obsess over the scale (and ignore the steady habits you’re building).
You treat one bad day like a forecast for your whole life.
The good news: you can interrupt it in 60 seconds.
The Snapshot
Negativity bias makes you remember the one “bad” thing and ignore the quiet wins.
One flare = “This is my life now.”
One late cycle = “My body is broken.”
One tough day = “Nothing is working.”
Let’s fix the spiral.
QUICK NOTE: Why it happens
When you’re stressed, your brain scans harder for danger, and that stress can also nudge cravings, sleep, and inflammation. So no, you’re not “dramatic”… you’re human with a nervous system doing extra credit.
THE S.S.S. Tool (Spot. Separate. Shift.)
1) SPOT the thought
Catch the first sentence your brain throws at you.
Examples:
“My skin is breaking out = I’m doing everything wrong.”
“My period is late = my body is broken.”
“I gained weight = it’s never going to change.”
Just notice it. No arguing. No judging. Just: Oh. There you are.
2. SEPARATE feeling from thought
Your brain turns feelings into “facts.”
Separate the feeling from the thought.
Try this script:
Feeling: panic (period is late)
Thought: “I’ll never regulate.”
Feelings are real signals.
Thoughts are just stories your brain offers.
When you separate them, you get your power back.
3) SHIFT it
Now decide what to do with the thought.
A therapist once said:
“You can’t stop a thought from entering your mind… but you don’t have to sit it down and serve it dinner.”
Ask:
Is this thought 100% true… or just loud?
What’s another explanation? (Stress? Sleep? A cycle shift? Inflammation? Life?)
What if it went the opposite way?
What if this actually goes really well?
Then pick one small supportive action.
If you can’t think of one, borrow one of these defaults below:
drink 2 x cups of spearmint tea
eat 30g of protein per meal
take a 10-minute walk after each meal
10 minutes of strength training
plan your breakfast the night before
lights out 30 minutes earlier
One step. Not a whole new life.
Pocket Scripts (steal these)
Use this in the mirror:
“I’m feeling ___, and I’m thinking ___.
My next step is ___.”
That’s it. That’s the whole reset.
When you feel the spiral starting, try one:
“This is a symptom flare, not a personality flaw.”
“I’m allowed to have a hard day without making it a hard life.”
“My body isn’t broken. It’s communicating.”
“Progress can be quiet and still be real.”
What if it goes really well?
Try one reframe:
“What if this breakout calms down in 72 hours like it has before?”
“What if my cycle is irregular and trending better overall?”
“What if the scale is noisy, but my energy/sleep/hunger are improving?”
Negativity bias hates quiet wins… quiet wins are still progress. That’s what counts.
Proof you’re not failing (small wins)
Tiny wins are how you retrain your brain to notice progress:
✅ Ate protein at breakfast
✅ Drank water before coffee
✅ Took a 10-minute walk
✅ Didn’t skip lunch
✅ Went to bed 30 minutes earlier
✅ Took my supplements/meds consistently
If your spiral is about fertility, hair loss, or feeling “behind”, you’re not alone. And you don’t have to solve everything tonight.
Try the S.S.S Tool tonight
Next time you catch yourself spiraling, do this:
Spot it.
Separate it. “I’m Feeling ___ and I’m thinking ___.”
Shift it. Choose: one small supportive action (water, protein plan, early bedtime, journaling, stretch).
Then do the step. Small wins are how you retrain the brain.
RECIPE OF THE WEEK
Sheet-Pan Chicken Fajita Bowls
This PCOS Smoothie from Simple Green Smoothies is a hormone-friendly blend packed with fiber, healthy fats, and plant-based protein. Made with ingredients like spinach, flaxseeds, almond butter, and berries, it helps support blood sugar balance, reduce inflammation, and keep cravings in check—perfect for a nourishing start to your day! [FULL RECIPE HERE]
Courage doesn’t always roar. Sometimes courage is the quiet voice at the end of the day saying, ‘I will try again tomorrow’
Why PCOS Queens? I want to save you the energy and time in researching and instead give you the shortcut to managing PCOS. I want to help you avoid feeling self-conscious and thinking you have to accept how things are. I want to help you overcome the worst of your symptoms, feel empowered and discover your inner strength. I want to hand you the keys to take back control of your life.
Affiliate Disclosure: Some of the product links featured in this newsletter may be affiliate links. This means PCOS Queens may earn a small commission (at no extra cost to you) if you choose to make a purchase. We only share products we genuinely believe may be helpful for our community.
*Disclaimer: Every women is unique, and this information is provided for educational purposes only. I share summarized research data and personal experience, but this should not be considered medical advice. Always consult your healthcare provider for guidance on your specific health needs.
